Grab a tissue…

I’m grateful that I have an iPhone calendar to remind me of the events in my life. There’s a little dot that shows up on days when something is scheduled. Most of the things that land here are of my making. Dentist appointments, meetings, lunch dates, you know, nothing earth shattering. Just daily life things that need to be attended to. Things that are important, but yet, if I won an all expense paid trip to the Mediterranean, I would cancel them in a heartbeat!

Today has a dot that has already messed me up and it hasn’t even happened yet. The anticipation of it has had me in tears with a lump in the back of my throat. For those that know me, you will know this does not happen often. I am a tough cookie. I don’t cry at movies, not even chick flicks. Love songs cannot make me flinch. I care about people a lot, but tend to keep my emotions in check.

My oldest daughter is flying out to live in another state today. This is the dot that has me all conflicted. It’s a good move, she’s super excited, and I’m excited for her! Last year she moved out, and that wasn’t so bad. She moved an hour away and lived on a college campus. We spoke daily and saw each other frequently. No problem. And yeah, did I mention it was an hour away? That was easy. 

When I dropped her off last year, she said, “Momma don’t cry.” And I didn’t. My quick wittedness kicked in and this is what I said, “If you were marrying a deadbeat loser, I would cry. If you were being sent off to prison I would cry. This is college and this is good. This is no occasion for crying.” And I meant those things. But today is different. Today we are looking at a one way ticket, a thousand miles away. 

For years I have watched others around me hang on to their children and I have been naively critical about that. I have spouted off phrases like… Children are supposed to fly away. We want them to grow up and move on. This is what good parenting looks like. We pour out and teach them and then they are ready to face life and go live theirs! Momma eagles stop lining the nest with feathers. It can’t be too comfortable or they will never leave. I even added how excited I would be when mine will leave one day so that I can do all the things I have been waiting to do. For those of you on the receiving end of these remarks, please forgive me. I had no clue. 

What was I thinking? I would be excited to do what? Buy a plane ticket to go visit her? Ship a box of some of the stuff she didn’t have room to take? To hear how it is when she lands? Ugh. I was so unprepared for this part….(you can grab a tissue and cry with me here).

Today, as we finalize all the last minute errands and the trip to the airport, I will be a strong mommy. Strong enough to send her off with lots of love and confidence! I know she will be fine, and I know her sister will be fine. And eventually, I will be fine too. Deep down, I really do believe this is what our babies are supposed to do when they are grown. And ultimately, I know that God will watch over her far better than I have ever been able to. And that is what gives me peace before I put her suitcase in the car. If I can even lift the darn thing…

Thanks for reading and crying with me…until next time…


2 thoughts on “Grab a tissue…

  1. Sherri this a wonderful piece of real time love. Im crying and she's not my girl. Touching , simply touching . You have done and will continue to do through the next phases of your future life an incredible job for your girls. As well as for our greater family in the Body. Darn good writer too, wish i could convey things more simply and straight to the heart as this. Love you all ~ Anthony


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