It’s too big to write about…

A few months ago I had a birthday. Not a major one, but the gifts my girls gave me have been transformational. It’s probably going to be a book one day (not soon so no pre-orders folks).

Kelsey and Morgan strategically planned their gifts. One did the high dollar finery, the other did the sentimental mushy on the cheap. It’s quite possibly the perfect combination.

Morgan, who earns a nice paycheck and has great taste to go with it, selected my very first Tiffany jewelry item. A little silver band with the inscription “I love you” all the way around. It’s perfectly dainty and elegant and simple. And it only fits on my third finger on my left hand. My fingers are not the same size on both hands for whatever that’s worth. I wear it always. I joke and say it’s to keep the vampires away.
Honestly I am not interested in being available to anyone, even for coffee, so it works out nicely.

Actually it is a great token of her fierce love for me. I have put her through a lot in her 17 years hoping for her to have a good dad. What she really needs is a mom who is no longer distracted by a relationship – current or near future. She only has another year or two with me and then she too will spread her wings and fly. 

Whenever I see those around me pairing off and getting all “ooey-gooey” in love, I just look down and see this ring and it reminds me that I am not missing out. I have a fantastic daughter who deserves my devotion at this season, and I am grateful to see it before she is completely grown.

The other gift is from Kelsey, who spends every penny she earns but has a big heart. She spent countless hours on this gift and it makes me cry when I tell others about it.

It’s this little box. The contents are 365 handwritten notes, each stating a reason she loves me. 

I read one each day, and put it into a little baggie so as not to repeat any.

Some tell of small things, like today’s note of “You always wrote me napkin notes in my lunchbox”. Others are funny, like “we have the same feet.” This is where you get to be grateful I didn’t include a pic.

Some are huge, like one from earlier this week, “You taught me the importance of leaning on Jesus”.  

While each message is a little dose of “I love you”, it is more powerful than that. 

Now that she is grown and my job of raising her is technically done, it’s a like the final report card. It’s all the positive things that she remembers and feels and thinks about. After opening these for the past couple of months, it’s like getting a 4.0 in Motherhood. 

How often when I reflect on the years of raising them up I see failure and regret. I think of all the things that I wish I could do over. Yet here is this beautiful ring and box of notes telling me that I didn’t fail after all. It’s the gold star, the coveted “Mother of the Year” award that we all strive for. The pressure of actually winning would be too much, but the nomination would be enough, right?

To all my mom friends, take a moment to breathe this in. What affirmation this is for us! 

This is permission to just be your wacky, imperfect, less-than self and do your best with the little darlings (even when they surpass you). Despite the lack of current response you may be receiving, even on your worst days, you’re doing a stellar job of loving them. 

Enjoy your babies today. They are absorbing the good love you give…even in the smallest of ways.

And it’s okay to be a little jealous of my kids.

Thanks for reading…til next time,


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