People are messy. Not just physically messy, as in, “Once upon a time I knew the color of the floor in this room.” People are emotionally messy. We love, we fail, we hurt. There is a saying I have heard, “Hurt people, hurt people”. You may want to read that a couple of times to get it.
When people hurt us, we can decide what to do with that. Do we confront? Do we let it go? Do we set a boundary so they know not do repeat the offense? Maybe it’s a little thing that occurred before someone had their coffee. We can choose to let it slide right on by. For you non coffee people, enjoy the poem that explains this scenario in full detail.
Maybe the hurt is a big deal and needs addressing.
Side note: If there is emotional, physical, or verbal abuse, then it’s absolutely NOT okay to allow it to continue. Never ignore abuse – it doesn’t go away and usually escalates. Seek help from a counselor or local shelter.
If it’s a big hurt, and no resolution in sight, maybe the relationship cannot be salvaged. If patterns are repeated, and changes are not made, then perhaps that is the right thing to do.
What happens when we hurt others?
We need to own our stuff is what. And that, my friends, is no task for cowards. It is a difficult thing to look in the mirror and realize that the person staring back at us is the one to blame for our pain. But you cannot fix it if you don’t know.
Once you know, then it must be dealt with. Spend some time writing it out, talking it out, crying it out. Pray through it if that is what helps you. However you need to deal, do it. Letting it boil and fester will never bring healing. Remember, this is about freedom!
Forgiveness cleans the slate. For them. For you.
Ask forgiveness if you are the one who did the hurting. For them.
Forgive those who have hurt you. For you.
No one needs to be “on the hook”. Life is too short to carry around grudges and anger and bitterness and all that junk. Whether it’s us or them, no one needs that. It’s unnecessary baggage.
Forgiveness is not a feeling, and no one ever deserves it. It’s a choice to let go of the hurt. To choose forgiveness is releasing them – and you. Jesus is right about this one. Try it for yourself.
Today I wrote an apology letter and in it, I asked for forgiveness. I have known for some time that I needed to write it, and had been dreading it. But when I sat down – it basically composed itself. It wasn’t as difficult or painful as I had imagined it to be.
It really is freedom when you forgive.
Oh, and here’s some cool stuff to read on this topic if it’s hitting you hard… http://theforgivenessproject.com.
Thanks for reading, until tomorrow!