Day 19 – Freedom to embrace sand and pearls

Because I so enjoyed the sand between my toes for yesterday’s sunset, I decided to repeat the performance tonight. We only have a couple of more weeks (Nov. 1 to be exact) before the time change. You know, when you leave work and it’s dark already? Yeah, not a fan, so I’m squeezing in as many sunsets as I can.

Siesta Beach was so windy that I have a light dusting of sand everywhere. Why, yes, a shower before bed is most definitely on the agenda.

Isn’t it amazing how small – and how powerful – is just one little grain of sand? It can ruin a bite of food. Or the comfort of your eye. Sand can be a definite irritant.

It can also create a pearl. Pearl farmers have learned how to embed these mollusks with sand to produce the lovely iridescent gem. This is more efficient and profitable than hoping an oyster will produce a pearl naturally. I am guessing one would have to shuck a LOT of oysters to find a pearl.

When I was walking out to the water’s edge, a wedding had just begun. It was an unusual sight for a Monday, and I steered a clear path to avoid being in the background of anyone’s pictures. It seemed like a happy crowd – and they received a lovely sunset to go along with their ceremony.

I am not the romantic type. I don’t get all gushy over songs or flowers. I guess after 2 divorces, I’m a little more guarded and maybe even a little cynical.

That doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for that couple making a commitment tonight. Or for all the other couples who tough it out daily to make it work. My hats are off to all of you for fighting through the hard places. 

With relationships though, a little grain of sand doesn’t produce pearls. The small little irritants can fester into bigger things. Resentments can build, love then dwindles, and eventually someone can throw in the towel and say I quit. Or you stay together for the torture factor. Either way is not pretty.

For all of you in relationships, watch out for those small things. Rinse them off early. Be quick to address the irritants. Be even quicker to forgive. We aren’t oysters after all. 

But we can learn, whereas I’m not sure about the learning capacity of oysters.

If you have bombed at marriage like I have, I hope we do learn. Let’s not keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Hello and goodbye, insanity. No matter how it divides out, whether it’s 90/10 or 60/40, I had a role to play. I contributed to that failure. I need to own my stuff. Ignoring my share and letting the other person shoulder all the blame is easier. But it will keep me trapped as a victim and stunt my growth. 

Growth is the way to freedom.

And there is our pearl of wisdom for today.

Thanks for reading, until tomorrow!


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