How do the people we love know they are loved? There are all kinds of people and methods of expression. “Have a great day – I love you” are the words we give each other at our house as we launch into the day ahead. “I love you – sleep well – good night” make up the nightly exchange.
Maybe it’s a text conveying the same message but with fun emoticons. My poor children. They suffer through my discoveries of these fun little add ons. I am glad emoticons were not around when I was growing up. The eye-roll emoticon would have been my favorite as a teen. Is there even an eye-roll emoticon? My kids are angels so I would not know.
If your love language is words – then this will work well for you. When your love language is quality time, then all these lovely words are just fine but they can miss the target, unless there is deep and long conversation. For women, talking and time spent are a joint venture, right? Guys though, they can go fishing together all day and not speak more than twenty whole words. Bizarre, I know.
The remaining three love languages are all action based, so we’ll lump those together. (If you have never heard of love languages, let me suggest that you pick up a version that appeals to you. Gary Chapman has covered all the bases in his Five Love Languages series – they’re right here.)
The thing is, words are easy. Having good intentions and making promises – that’s easy too. The harder thing is to back it up and show it in real tangible ways. It can be tricky when your mouth writes checks that your schedule has to cash.
Oh, you’re short-handed? Sure, I’ll help with that. Oh, a big fundraising event on Thanksgiving weekend? Of course I’ll donate my time. You’re not feeling well? Chicken soup, coming right up.
Oh my, I have gotten myself into trouble more than once on this kind of stuff. And still do a little bit.
I am learning to promise less and deliver more. There is freedom in keeping some margin in my life so that I can show up when opportunities arise. I try to keep my intentions and hopes to myself until I know for certain that I can pull it off. Those I care about do not need empty promises. And I am older and wiser – and have outgrown the Wonder Woman routine. I won’t even don that outfit for Halloween!
Last night is a great example of showing love to my daughter. She was having a tough day and asked if we could go out for ice cream. After working all day and then sitting through a three hour night class, all I wanted to do is get into my PJ’s and chill.
|No pics from last night, but this was yummy!|
Folks, she is almost eighteen. And if she wants her mom to go have ice cream, I know enough to hit pause on my pajama plan and spend time with her. There’s not that much left – and the ice cream was totally scrumptious. I’m pretty sure occasions like that negate the calories, right?
I guess what I’m saying is, don’t just say that you love those around you. Mean it. Show it. Lavish it. Be generous with it. The world needs more of it. Start with those around you and see how it ripples and multiplies.
Freedom to show love because you can. It’s the greatest…
Thanks for reading! Until tomorrow,