Warning: this is going to be ugly and raw and negative and I just don’t feel right about stinking up the interwebs with more of that. I much prefer sunshine and rainbows, but there were not many to be found today. Sorry in advance, but the keyboard is my therapy.
The place in which I work is more like a family than a job. It’s a goofy lighthearted place that is full of love and grace. Many of my coworkers have shared space and life there for years. A lot of years. Like, I remember when you didn’t even have kids and now they are out of diapers. I remember when they were just little short people and now they tower over me when they come home from college for the weekend. Those kinds of years.
This week several people in this little family have decided to leave. Turned in their keys and out the door they went. No farewell parties. No going away gifts. Not even a goodbye.
Some may have felt they didn’t have a choice. I think all felt they were doing the right thing. It doesn’t matter whether they are right or wrong, or if the establishment is right or wrong. It hurts the same.
I have a lump in my throat that goes along with these kinds of breakups.
These are the kind of endings that should not happen. Everyone loves each other. Somehow this imaginary line has been drawn in the sand and people are choosing which side of the line they are on. It sucks. There is no line that I can see, but for others it was huge and they felt it necessary to go.
I keep a box of tissues on my desk to wipe away tears. Daily we use it because we are usually laughing our butts off until we cry over a stupid joke or something snarky that gets said. But today, the tears were not from laughter.
I am unbelievably sad. They will all be missed. And as one still standing (as we watch them drop like flies), many parts of my job will be different and harder. So that part sucks, but that is not the worst part.
The worst part is that they, as people, are irreplaceable. Some will be able to maintain relationships with those of us still around. But we all know how that goes. If you don’t see them by default, you must see them by intention. And that just gets hard to keep up with after a while.
Change is a necessary part of life. Mostly I embrace it. Eventually there could be some really great stuff that comes out of this. But not for a while. This kind of change is stinky.
So when I got home, I grabbed a glass of wine and headed straight for the beach to say goodbye to this stupid day. I wanted to make sure the sun was really going down and calling it done. Leap year day was not a fun one this time.
Don’t come again for another four years ok? That’d be great.
Thanks for reading…until next time,