One, two, who are you?

There are plenty of people out there digging into hard controversies and political rants. The opinions and angst and true upset are valid and I respect anyone with the courage to jump into those circles. I have lots of opinions on such subjects. However, this is one space where I try to keep it light and fun and maybe a tad bit inspirational. I’ll take my cue from the newspaper comics and attempt to give you a smile.


The dating chronicles have begun. My suspicion was that – at the very least – I would have something entertaining to share in this space. I find it to be a bit comedy / bit tragedy. The logos for online dating sites should not include cupids or hearts or fish…but this…

If you’re single, you can relate. If you’re connected, you’ll be grateful that you’re not single. Even if you are squabbling with each other because, well, just read on.

Let’s begin with scanning the profiles. There are HUNDREDS of men in all shapes, colors, sizes and ages, and they are all online, looking for love. Or something, I’m not too sure. In scanning through the myriad profiles, here are my instant dis-qualifiers…

–The only picture on your profile is of you wearing a hat and sunglasses.
I can’t see you. Who are you? I don’t care about your receding hairline. Why are you hiding? I cannot handle insecurity. Next.

–Your marital status is separated.
Paperwork can drag on, I get it. But dude, you are still married. You are not single or divorced. You are not available. Get off of dating sites until the papers are signed. Oh, you might want to let the ink dry for a bit, too. Just a suggestion. Next.

–You smoke.
I don’t, and you shouldn’t either. It’s a terrible habit and I broke it myself years ago. Get help and make it happen for yourself. It’s not judging, it’s the honesty of “I am never gonna kiss you”. Next.

–There are grammar or spelling issues all over the place.
I am somewhat forgiving here because of grace. But when errors make it difficult to actually communicate, I just can’t do it. Get a proofreader – you need one. Next.

–You didn’t answer the profile questions.
Isn’t this the point? I am not responding to the “what do you want to know?” question you sent me. If you are on a dating site, answer the damned questions. Or just go away. Why are you even here? Next.

Look at all that discernment right there. I am trying not to be too cynical and harsh, but wow, do you see the challenge? Tell me I am being reasonable and not setting impossibly high standards. No really, tell me. I need to know.

How much can I tell about a potential “love match” from these profiles? Quite a bit once I figured out the “code”. For example, when he says that he “likes to be spontaneous”, he is actually saying that he doesn’t make plans. In other words, he’s telling me right up front that he may call to see if I’m available with zero notice. How romantic.

Sure, I’m just sitting here looking beautiful and doing nothing at all, just waiting for your call. Um, yes, looking beautiful. And hell-to-the-no – I am certainly not sitting here waiting. Go be spontaneous with a boring girl. This one has a life.

How well am I representing myself? Am I honest? I think so. I feel like I’ve done enough work to know who I am. I state right up front that I am strong and sassy and independent. Guys, I know this about myself. If you are super sensitive, consider yourself warned that I may hurt your feelings without meaning to do so. I know myself, and you should know yourself too.

It’s like sorting the mail that comes in. Junk, junk, junk, junk, oh, wait, maybe that’s one I should look at for more than 2 seconds.

This area is rumored to have a ratio of one single guy to TEN single women. I have like 400 profiles to skim through. Does that mean the guys have 4000? Good grief.

To keep myself in balance with this, I only check the site for 10 minutes, once a day. If I am having conversation via messaging or talking, it’s for that same amount of time. I’m busy y’all, and this is not my new job or my new hobby. It’s for exercise, and apparently blog material.

Aren’t you glad that you got to read all of these words and there was nothing politically charged? Me too…

Stay tuned for more adventures….

Thanks for reading, until next time,


One thought on “One, two, who are you?

  1. Pingback: Shall we meet – or not? |

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