Friends with benefits…

Not those kind of benefits. C’mon people! Why is your mind in the gutter? I’m talking about other benefits. Sheesh.

After a couple of less than wonderful dates last weekend, my friend M stepped up and took my mind off my dating troubles. We went out dancing one night and had a blast. Then a couple of days later we went to an art museum and out for dinner. As I’ve been reflecting on our time together, it occurred to me how grateful I am. Here’s the list of some of the benefits of having a bro-friend:

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Benefit #1. Thou shalt not open thine own door.  If he is polite and chivalrous, he will open doors for you. And girls, that’s just something you need to be okay with. If a man opens a door for you, smile and say thank you. Don’t act like he’s just done the nicest thing ever in the history of ever. It’s normal decent behavior.

Benefit #2. Thou shalt receive at least one compliment. If he’s nice enough to be your friend, then he’s likely to bestow a minimum of “hey you look great”. Your reply? Same as above, smile and say thank you. Never argue or minimize a compliment, just receive it graciously. Give him one back – as he probably extended extra effort too.

Benefit #3. Thou shalt not fear for thine own safety. You have a brother at your side who will protect you, not harm you. It’s likely that he will not put any moves on you and this is why you’re friends. You can trust this one. *Disclaimer – if you put moves on him, he may just follow your lead. Sliding out of the friend zone can be a slippery slope – so be careful.

Benefit #4. Thou shalt not have creeps hitting upon thee. Again, you have an instant shield from ass-hats hitting on you. It’s a lot more fun when you can relax and enjoy yourself, knowing that your friend has your back.

Benefit #5. Thou shalt learn something about the male psyche. And perhaps he will learn something about the female psyche. It’s possible! When there is true friendship, it’s easy to be honest and open and even vulnerable. After all, nothing is at stake when you are with your friend.

Benefit #6. Thou shalt not be in danger of becoming an old maid. Sometimes the hardest part of being single is being, well, lonely. Having a good guy friend is better than a romantic date. There’s no pressure, no expectations, just getting out for some fun!

Benefit #7. Thou shalt not be required to shave thine legs (or anything else). Sometimes it’s nice to go out without all the primping and fussing. Throw your hair in a pony, slide on your favorite jeans and a t-shirt, complete with a pair of Chuck Taylor’s and you are ready to go.

Benefit #8. Thou shalt perform at thy best. If you’re the sporty type, it’s okay to own your edge. You don’t have to worry about preserving his fragile ego. Aim high, work hard and do your best to win. Whether it’s pool, darts or corn hole – it’s okay to kick his ass. But be a good winner and buy him a drink.

Benefit #9. Thou shalt say what thou means. Perhaps we lose our sense of self when around someone who makes our heart skip a beat. We may forget how to voice our opinions when we’re weak in the knees. With a guy friend, we have the freedom to practice and not worry about feeling too nervous to say what we need or want.

Benefit #10. Thou shalt establish a minimum standard. Chances are that you will begin comparing other potential suitors against your guy friend. If the new man doesn’t treat you as well as your bro-friend, he’s probably getting cut from the lineup.

So friends with benefits? I’d have to say, absolutely! I think any great relationship starts as friends. As long as expectations are managed and everyone is honest, it can be good. Whether M stays in the friend zone – or moves up – has yet to be determined. For now I’m totally content and grateful for his friendship 🙂

Thanks for reading, until next time!
Sherri

 

 

 

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