Virginia Slims and Refrigerators

I love beginning new projects. I love kicking around ideas for what I will begin next week or next month. But working on something midway through? Or just doing that final little thing to check it off the list? Nahhh.

What’s even worse is when it’s just something that is never ever done. You know, like laundry or cleaning the house. Maintenance is just not exciting enough. Why clean up in 10 minutes what can accumulate? Let it become a big project with clearly visible results. Wow, great job! It was such a mess and now it’s perfect. But keeping it that way? Picking up a little bit daily? Weekly even?

Not so much.

I am however, learning the value of better habits. In many ways I have incorporated great practices, like yoga every morning and flossing every night. Yes, I even start and finish the laundry (finish, as in, it’s put away and hung up and everything) in the very same day. I don’t let my car get too messy and my paperwork piles are smaller than they’ve ever been.

virginia slim

Please don’t think I advocate for smoking. I just like the slogan.

Today, however, I had to own the fact that while I’m winning in those areas, I have work to do. Confession alert: I am a terrible food manager.

For whatever stupid-ass reason, I don’t like spending time evaluating what IS in my frig and freezer and pantry. I would rather just go to the store and buy more stuff. Then, I can take all the stuff I bought last week (that is now fuzzy, slimy or otherwise gross) and throw it out to make room for the new stuff. I’ve come to think of it as an expensive, wasteful, food rotation hobby.

Ridiculous? Yes. Correctable? Also yes, I hope.

So this morning, I did a little refrigerator cleaning. You know, before I go to the store to buy more food. As this was a big neglected task, I would get some satisfaction (it was actually satisfying embarrassing, so much so that I had to share it with you).

Apparently, I like to collect condiments. They are the obvious winners of the frig longevity game. They are clearly unlike grapes or romaine when expired. These bottles and jars require serious effort. You’ve actually got to find the “best used by date” (often requiring reading glasses) and then realize that mustard from April of 2016 must go. Which is sad because I moved in June of 2016 and that mustard should not have been hauled here in the first place.

I did not count how many bottles I rinsed and recycled, but it was a pathetic amount. This isn’t even all of them.


I did count three bottles of soy sauce which I condensed into one. There is so much sodium in that stuff it will never go bad. I nearly choked when I dumped the outdated Sriracha out. And why do I have Miracle Whip? I hate that stuff. Oh yeah, I bought it for my brother when he was here in March. Out with it.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who is afflicted with this terrible practice (seriously, comment and tell me I am not alone).

My budget and waistline demand that I do a better job in this arena. I think I will just walk to the grocery store. I can only purchase what I can literally carry. That should certainly help me make better decisions about what I buy.

Each week, from now until forever more, I will clean out my refrigerator and evaluate my food plan carefully. And I have all of you to hold me accountable.

Thanks for reading, until next time!





One thought on “Virginia Slims and Refrigerators

  1. Sadly, you are the ONLY person in the whole world afflicted with this terrible condition. I recommend therapy. Further I think you should limit grocery shopping to only what you can carry in one of those little plastic bags that fall apart when you put too much in them (who invented those stupid things anyway?).

    It’s good to see you’re getting conscious about food funk and undesirables in your fridge that hording up your electricity. When you can’t see in the jelly in the jar for the fuzz on the side, it’s definitely time to go. No need to look for the expiration date, just toss.

    Hmm… Jalapeño’s never go bad and they have no calories. With a little cheese, salsa and chips you’ve always got a party… FOOD FAIL!!

    Now what’s wrong with Miracle Whip?? It’s good stuff. It’s a lot tastier than plain ole mayo. It’s like… A carnival for your tongue. Brother-1, Sherri-0.

    Lets see… Coke – tasty, but really bad stuff! Good call!
    BBQ sauce? Who needs it…?
    Foo Foo mustard… (You got that in a gift basket, didn’t you?) Outta there!
    Is that (was that) carrot juice in the back? YUCKO!! Blech! Gotta go…!

    I don’t know what any of that other stuff is but it doesn’t look very appetizing. Anyway, I’m with ya…! All ye useless items be banished to the dumpster.

    Whip cream?? You threw out the whip cream? Really?? Whu..?? How could you throw out the whip cream? Whip cream is a staple in any fridge! What were you thinking? FOOD FAIL!

    Oh wait… Is that…? Oh no you didn’t…! OMG!!! You threw out the BISCUITS??!! What… is WRONG with you? (gasp!) That’s culinary sacrilege bloggy girl! You cannot live in the south and NOT have a can of biscuits in your fridge. It’s the LAW! Go dig them out of the trash RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

    Please… PLEASE tell us you did NOT throw out the gravy making ingredients (which, also happen to be the foundation of the biscuit recipe). Surely you wouldn’t! That would be a UN-FRIENDable offence.

    What is that there in the back? Is that… a “toaster oven”? Seriously??? Oh girl, you need some serious help. THAT useless item needs to go too. Those are antiques now. They went out in the 70’s… You know you never use it. It’s just sittin there taking up real estate. Just… Let it goooooooooo…!

    Clearly, your consumable hoarding problem is bigger that you recognize. GET HELP NOW! Before it’s too late!

    All in good fun! Thanks for sharing 🙂


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