Winter, you win.
I’m about to hop on a plane to head back to Florida where all the cool and hip grandparents live. Obviously.
There are many other reasons to head home besides the frigid temps. None of them seem important though. But in attempting to swallow this giant lump of sadness in my throat, I’ll be logical and list them here for both of us.
1 – He is not my baby. He is my daughter’s baby, and she is well able to take excellent care of him. She is a natural and I’m beyond proud of her and her man already.
2 – Everyone needs their space. I need my own space to live, and they definitely need me to not be in their space any longer. And since a second home isn’t an option, it’s back to Florida I must go.
3 – I have another daughter. True, she is independent and can go for days without seeing me, but she is still my kid and I’ve missed her.
4 – I have a job. Not just any job, but one that I truly care about. Also, after working remotely, I realize it’s not the kind of job that can really be done from afar. It’s hard to “work” in a community when you’re not actually there.
5 – I need to take care of myself. While away, I basically ignored the yoga mat in my room, barely wrote, and ate garbage (my daughter has a sweet tooth, and I joined her indulgences). My self-care routine suffered a bit, and I know it’s not sustainable to continue without it.
These are all logical and mature and wise observations. But my heart is just breaking at the idea of not holding this one for 2 whole months. Ugh…
We parted this morning without any tears, and so far I’ve (sort-of) been holding them at bay. I know he is in good hands, and everyone knows how to feed themselves and do the laundry and love on that baby.
I feel so very grateful that I have been able to be here for my girl and her man during their last few days pre-baby. And even more thankful to have been able to enjoy this adorable boy’s first eleven days in our world.
So here’s what I’m telling myself: Hang in there. Use Facetime. Find travel deals. Call often. Prioritize the relationship. Also, know what’s mine and what isn’t.
To all those who grandparent from a distance, what wisdom do you have for me? How do you manage? For real, I need to know!
Thanks for reading, until next time,